Back To School

(Originally posted on 8/8/07)


In 12 -days, if no more obstacles creep into my path, I will be a full-time student again. After nearly 25-years, I am going back to college to complete a Bachelor’s degree. In May I made the decision to do this. I wanted to. I had been pondering returning to school, but I was so afraid to take this step.

It was about that time that two men I had met online told me I wasn’t their type. One said that I was not a finisher. The other said I lived off of my excuses. Suddenly I knew I could do this. I knew I didn’t have a choice.

It hasn’t been easy. The process is complicated. It will mean many sacrifices in the next three years. It seems that every time I figure out one thing, another stumbling block springs into my path. I have nearly given up so many times…. But I am not a quitter. I am a finisher!

Today… I was already at that place where I feel myself crumbling under the stress of life in general. I discovered another problem that I would need to fix before I could start school in 12 -days… I was sent first to one office on campus, then to another, then I had to talk to someone who sent me to another office, where I was told the person I needed to talk to was not in the office for the rest of the day and her assistant was at lunch. However, in this office, I was told that I could not register until I had attended Freshman Orientation, and the only one remaining is all day on the 17th.

At that point I had to be at work in 30-minutes, and I felt drained. In many ways as I turned and walked out of that office, I “threw in the towel.” I felt so empty. Alone. Isolated. Angry. As I walked, I let the ears flow down my cheeks. I ended up at the duck pond where I sat on a low wall and starred off into space. Part of me was fighting the tears. People would see. I’d go to work with red eyes and a swollen face. The rest of me didn’t care who saw or what I looked like. Part of me, most of me, was saying it was time to give up. I wondered if God heard my prayers. I wondered WHAT it is HE wants me to do… if not this… than what? And I prayed.

I got to work. It was nice to be busy and not think about my problems. After a while, I saw my boss. I asked for Friday, the 17th off to attend orientation. He was amazed that I would need to do that. He asked if there were any other options. He really couldn’t let me have that Friday off.

I was only working 5-hours today, so I wasn’t scheduled for a lunch, but I took a chance and asked my boss if I could take an hour to go back and try to get better answers. He said ok, if it meant I could work the 17th.

It went back to the last office I had been to. The woman who wasn’t suppose to be there, was back. Her meetings had finished early and she agreed to see me without an appointment. We talked. She agreed that this was a special circumstance and I will get a mini-orientation, one-on-one with her tomorrow before I go to work.
Before that though, I had to meet with an academic advisor in the admissions office, and I had to go to another office to sign something. The person I need to talk with in admission was available. We studied three options for my major and I ruled out getting a degree in Elementary Education. She recommended I go to the Communications Department to see an advisor there, so I would know if that was the direction I wanted to go. And to figure out what classes I needed to take at this time.

I hurried across campus to the Communications and Journalism building, saw an advisor, and changed my major to Public Relations…. And I somehow, got all of this done in an hour!

I am drained, but in a sleepy way tonight. I have a feeling of contentment and satisfaction. And I feel my prayers were heard and angels sent to clear the path before me.